journal

I found a little journal i use to keep. I was never good at keeping it updated.

November 27, 2004

We're just so caught up in everyday life, that we forget to stop and really look at it. All the blessings God has given us. a great family, great friends, a roof under our head, food on the table, bed to sleep in..on?. . . so many many things. i know i don't say this enough, so i just wanted to let You know how thankful i am.


June 27, 2005

Its 12ish AM. about to sleep pretty soon. i was thinking today. thinking about all the times i never took a chance because i was too scared. why am i like that? i want to be open. let my guard down from time to time. but its so hard for me.

i think about all the times ive let people down. and it hurts. so bad. my parents. my friends. myself.


June 28, 2006

They had a fight today. . .
I hate it when they fight
Words hurt


sometime after June, 2006

Its hard sometimes, when you know no one in your family supports what you do. dont give a crap about you, or how mu something means to you. in my case, my parents only want one thing from me, good grades. havent i been doing that for ..uhhhh.. all my life now? I cant promise to be that perfect child they hear on the news or read in newspapers. But i can promise to try my best in everything i do, is that not enough? Dad has never really supported me doing the whole Life Teen thing. Its hard when all i really need is his approval. His support. Some kind of sign that says he cares.

Im leaving for CLI up in santa barbara in 6 days. Im scared. Not sure what to expect.


July 27, 2007

So i havent had the chance to journal in a while. Its thursday, our second to last day here in CLI. So far, its beyond what i was anticipating. Kevin and i are the only two from our church. there are about 38 girls, and 17 guys, including all the leaders and directors. People here are absolutely amazing. Every single person with his or her one special personalities and backgrounds. Everyone had their one story, their own personal experiences.

What a crazy couple of days. Kevin and i were worried all week about our transportation home. Melissa told us she lives in Cerritos and would be happy to ask her mom if we can carpool with them. So thats one less thing to worry about tomorrow.

GLs retreat is this upcoming weekend. Theresa's going to come friday night to sleep over and we're gonna head over there saturday morning. Im going to be burrrnnned out.
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and thats where the journal ended. I'll be back CLI :)

I was watching Mr.Rogers today with Lily, i was never really a fan of that show.

"It's You I like" by Fred M. Rogers.

It's you I like.
It's not the things you ear.
It's not the way you do your hair.
But it's you I like.

The way you are right now.
The way down deep inside you.
Not the things that hide you.
Not your toys--they're just beside you.

But it's you I like.
Every part of you-
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings.
Whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue.
That it's you i like, it's you yourself.
It's you. It's you i like.

End.